As I look back on my 19 years of existence, I can finally fathom the meaning of the quote “Everything happens for a reason”. I think that situations to happen regardless, but from every situation good or bad lessons and new understandings and knowledge can be learnt and gained. I know that I am very young but I have been left in situations in my life that leave me asking simply, why?
I mean some situations like death for example, its hard to fathom what we are suppose to learn from them. We learn that life is precious? That we shouldn’t take anyone or anything for granted.
But I’m more so talking about situations we put ourselves in, Situations that are in our control. Friendships for example. We choose our friends yes?
I had a bestfriend for most of highschool. She left me heartbroken purely because she chose to hang out with the popular kids over me. I was always to stubborn to ask her why, I just dealt with the many pieces my heart was in, decided it didn’t matter and tried to move on. Except it took me a long time. More than a year even. Now I look back on that experience and what it taught me. It taught me that people don’t deserve you if they choose others over you. I mean don’t waste your time on people who would rather hang out with people of status and popularity.
Secondly, the first guy i dated at 17 taught me to be straightforward with people and not fuck them around. Because with him i decided to to just ignore him as I no longer wanted to speak to him anymore. Now I realise that was the wrong way to deal with it. But dating him taught me to stay true to myself and not be someone I’m not. I was a good girl who didn’t like breaking the rules. T
thirdly, my first love and first heartbreak occurring over the last year and a half. Literally has taught me the most I’ve ever learnt in my life. From becoming emotionally dependent, learning my self worth, learning about immature males, that actions speak louder than words an that I should always put myself first. This boy was the first guy I’ve ever loved and I fell for him very quickly. Within the first two months I was breaking down crying and depressed for at least two weeks because of his immature ways of dealing with things and my pathetic attachment to someone I’d just met. It took my a solid six months to lose all feelings for him. I still think about him at least once a day. But man all the heartbreak and shit I went through for him taught me so much. It really taught me what I want form a guy, what i need from a guy but most importantly what i deserve from a guy. Also the most important thing i took away from him and the situation was to love myself, to 100% put myself first no matter what and to be careful about who I let into my life. Also, “Do not chase people”.
Most situations that have hurt me in anyway, I can see and comprehend the lessons that have been taught. It causes me to think about things sometimes, like some situations are a test, a lesson to be learnt.