Yesterday I read a quote, “People pleasing hides the real you”. At first it went over my head, but later on I was doing some writing and this is when I realised how true this quote is. In our era, we are constantly doing things to please others. Wether it’s our parents, our friends or just people in the street. We have an overwhelming desire to be liked, to be seen a certain way in order to please others.
I’ve thought about this before, what would I do and how would I act, if I didn’t have to worry about pleasing other people or abide by societies standards for that matter? Sometimes I dress to impress, I compress my opinion from others ears in order to be seen a certain way and accepted. I think we subconsciously strive to please other people. This can occur in so many ways ranging from our career choices to something as simple as a personal opinion. Its obvious many of us care too much. So many of us worry about the image we must uphold in the eyes of others and have the constant fear of not being liked.
Now there’s two problems wrong with people pleasing. Firstly, trying to please others does takes away from you. Who YOU are. You individual opinions, style and preferences. We often do things purely to make someone else happy. The way you act, the shows you watch, the food you eat, the way you smile and the list goes on. I mean stop and think about it, I’m sure at least once in your life you’ve done something to please another. Do you really have that opinion or has yours been slowly murdered and morphed into someone else’s. Trying to please others impedes on our uniqueness and originality.
Secondly, we obsesses and change our behaviours because we want people to like us, when in fact, no one actually cares. If you think about it, each individual like yourself is far too focused on his or her own life to give a crap about yours. Someone may acknowledge you and maybe even be impressed by you, but it won’t be for long.
Very few people actually stand up for what they truly believe in or what they truly want to do. Because we’re so use to agreeing. But the things is, there’s always going to be someone who will disagree with you or not like something you do. So stop holding back, start expressing yourself the way you truly want to.
Overall people pleasing takes you away from you, I think we’ve established it. Who you are could be buried deep below a pile of other people’s crap and their expectations. I’m not trying to get you to stop and question your every decision since you exited the womb. I’m just trying to get you to have a bit of a think, and if anything, care a little less. Do things for yourself, figure out what that’s like.
You do not live to please others, your living YOUR life, please try your best to live to please yourself.
Disclaimer: I do understand in some situations what I’m saying here is not applicable. Sometimes people have no choice but to do what others tell them to do or think.