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I saw this and it really consolidated how I’ve been thinking lately. You go through different stages in your life both good and bad but they all pass eventually. I’m living a wonderful life and I wouldn’t be where I am today without what I’ve experienced in the past few years. And you know what, life is good and it will continue on and it will be spectacular. I am excited. I’m proud and happy with myself and what the future holds. Always remember that you learn through what you go through, stay positive and know that your past can have no hold on you whatsoever. The world is your oyster.

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Fuck the timeline

Independent young women. How lovely. Thats me, or at least what I aspire to be.

(P.s I recognise that I often just jump into rants with little contextual information so heres some; I’m a 20 year old women who thinks a lot)

Now lets talk about society and the expectations for a young women to abide to the norm. Lets get a picture shall we; the generality for a young women’s life goes something along the lines of ; school; further education/training/ job/ marriage/kids/ family// death?

And even though it might not be verbally expressed or written down as rules; its whats expected, its the norm, right?

But to hell with the norm I say! Fuck the norm!

I feel as though it is expected not by specific people but by the world and by society to follow this little timeline. But real independence is living your life the way YOU want to regardless of any other external influences. And I guess some young women wouldn’t question this timeline, because its just the way it is right?
I don’t want to ‘be swept off of my feet’ by a man as many have said to me; and then live my life based on how they want me to. Now we’re together we’ll have kids.. blah blah. And maybe this opens up another can of worms for me, thats the whole point of a relationship right? I mean sure. But I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think its ok to be different. Personally I want to go and travel and maybe even move to a different country in the near future, and I just want the non judgemental freedom to be able to do that. To not have other people judge my life choices because they don’t fit in with the timeline. Once again fuck the timeline. I hope we’re all getting mad about the timeline.

Anyhow I’m not saying I don’t want kids, because I love babies too much not to have my own. I just want us to be able to be truly free as independent woman, to realise that it is OKAY to differ from the timeline. Be your own person. Move countries if you want. Become and artist, a writer. Be polymonogamous if you want. Do whatever the fuck you want.

A wave of ignorance

Is ignorance really bliss?

As young girl, and I guess even now, I was ignorant and unaware of the world. This ignorance can also be attributed to my lack of motivation to want to know about the world and to ensure I was happy. In doing this, I guess you could say I kind of dismissed certain topics in the world and remained unaware of the big bad world. I guess you could say I was in a bubble. This isn’t necessarily specific to me as an individual, but as kids and even adolescents, we are ignorant, we want the world to be a good place.

But as I’ve grown older, I’ve experienced things and been exposed to very sad, horrible situations. And now as I see and understand its necessary to be exposed to these things. Its necessary to see the world as it is. Our society is fame and money hungry. Countries are corrupt. Terminal illnesses are a reality.  Wars are occurring as we speak, people are dying. Our loved ones are dying. People are sadistic and evil.

In regards to being exposed to these topics, a different topic I’d like to touch on is mental illness. I was briefly exposed to the world of mental illness as someone  close to me was diagnosed. It was bad for a little while, but drugs were prescribed and the whole situation went away. I had a little bit of knowledge but my awareness and motivation to become more knowledgable subsided with the drugs that were prescribed and the topic no longer being a very common discussion. Things returned to normal. Yet years later, mental illness became timely relevant. A few years older, more mature and a little more knowledgeable I realised how real mental illness is. I did my best to take the relevant actions in order to help and I’ve learnt more. The thing is, had I not have been directly exposed to any mental illness, I would not have bothered. And I know for a fact many many people are completely unaware of the topic. People see odd people in the street and automatically label them as crazy, and if we’re being brutally honest, uneducated, unaware me would have probably done the same. As a society we don’t know much and this is disheartening. The lack of understanding is devastating.  I’m not saying I am an expert myself because I am not, I have so much to learn. I know that without being a person affected by mental illness myself, I will never ever know the effects it has on the individual. I won’t even come close. I’ve read peoples accounts of what living with different kind of mental illness is like, and I really can’t comprehend it at all.

I want to help, I want to get even the smallest grasp. I want people to become aware. I want to cause a thought provoking ripple surrounding the topic, resulting in people who have a basic understanding of mental illness and not automatically label someone as ‘crazy’. Because they’re not. They are a wholesome person. Just like some people happen to have a physical illness affecting their body, these people happen to have an illness that affects their thoughts. We don’t know enough about the the causes, implications etc of illnesses, physical or mental. And this brings me back to ignorance. We know very little.

I hope we will learn more, become more aware, become more accepting and full of love.

I’m urging us to be aware.

Stop going nonstop!

Hello fellow bloggers,

Today I just wanted to do a bit of an update and share a little something I’ve learned. Lately I’ve been going full on. I’ve been working 4-5 times a week as well as going to University 3 times a week. In the small gaps in between I’ve been eating out, seeing people who tell me I’m always so “busy” (to keep them happy). Between catching up with friends, family commitments, working, studying and classes, I haven’t stopped. Ideally it sounds like the perfect lifestyle; working, studying, seeing friends. But its not realistic.

The last 2 months I’ve been to the doctor 3 times; first it was tonsillitis, then an upper respiratory tract infection and then the same respiratory infection and conjunctivitis. My Immune system has been so SUCKY! After literally NEVER getting sick at school before about year 11 (when the stress crept in), this has been constant. I’ve constantly been feeling ill. But thats enough who ha, you get the picture, right?

So lets get to the bottom of it.  Its my non stop lifestyle. I’ve had no time to just stop and look around, its always go go go. Time to relax, I’m seeing is crucial. With our stressful modern day lifestyles, all the pressures that come along with it; we owe it to ourselves to give a little back. Have a bath; have a nap; read a book for an afternoon; just stop and rest. The doctor said that word, my mum said that word, my bestfriend said that word, therefore it must be important.

rest. 

As a uni student I’ve decided to cut down. Cut down on all the obligations I feel I must uphold. These include catching up with people instead of having a day or afternoon off to myself. I never shut up about putting yourself first emotionally, so i need to start putting myself physically and uphold a positive wellbeing. So bye bye working 5 shifts a week, I’m going to start saying no. Bye bye catching up with people non stop during my free time, and hello me time, hello lazy afternoons lying on the coach or reading a book in the sun. Hello rest.

What I’m trying to get across people is we think we’re looking after ourselves, but going non stop isn’t doing us any good. Sometimes the vision you have in your head Jasmin of a go go go girl who gets everything done and keeps everyone happy is not attainable. Theres nothing wrong with a women who takes the time out for herself.

Theres nothing wrong with scheduling some rest time. Look after yourselves.

x

Dear Mr Wrong,

I look for quotes to try and explain it. Why do I still think about you? Why do I compare every other guy to you?

I’ve tried my best to let you go, and I know we’re both on different paths, going different places, dating different people. But it still astounds me how often you’re still their. As much as I’ve tried I can’t forget you. I can’t forget your cheeky smile, you’re favourite movie being the little prince, you’re sneaker obsession, the way you looked at me; Like I was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever laid eyes on. And I miss you, I miss how excited you were to see me, how in the beginning we were both so excited. I missed how I told you everything and you listened.

And it makes me sad to think about how we failed, and how even though we could try again, it most probably won’t work. Because you’re not the same person you were in the beginning and I don’t think I’ll ever get that guy back. The memories while making me smile, also make me sad to realise it can’t ever be like that again.

You were my first love, and even though I may have blocked you out; I wish I could talk to you and I wish things could be different. But I think its too painful to go down that road again. No matter how mad I get about how you treated me, that can’t take away the fact that I had so much love for you.

“Maybe we’ll met again when we’re older and lives less hectic, and I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me. But right now I am chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart.”

I hope you’re doing well.

 

We’re ALL people pleasers

Yesterday I read a quote, “People pleasing hides the real you”. At first it went over my head, but later on I was doing some writing and this is when I realised how true this quote is. In our era, we are constantly doing things to please others. Wether it’s our parents, our friends or just people in the street. We have an overwhelming desire to be liked, to be seen a certain way in order to please others.

I’ve thought about this before, what would I do and how would I act, if I didn’t have to worry about pleasing other people or abide by societies standards for that matter? Sometimes I dress to impress, I compress my opinion from others ears in order to be seen a certain way and accepted. I think we subconsciously strive to please other people. This can occur in so many ways ranging from our career choices to something as simple as a personal opinion. Its obvious many of us care too much. So many of us worry about the image we must uphold in the eyes of others and have the constant fear of not being liked.

Now there’s two problems wrong with people pleasing. Firstly, trying to please others does takes away from you. Who YOU are. You individual opinions, style and preferences. We often do things purely to make someone else happy. The way you act, the shows you watch, the food you eat, the way you smile and the list goes on. I mean stop and think about it, I’m sure at least once in your life you’ve done something to please another. Do you really have that opinion or has yours been slowly murdered and morphed into someone else’s. Trying to please others impedes on our uniqueness and originality.

Secondly, we obsesses and change our behaviours because we want people to like us, when in fact, no one actually cares. If you think about it, each individual like yourself is far too focused on his or her own life to give a crap about yours. Someone may acknowledge you and maybe even be impressed by you, but it won’t be for long.

Very few people actually stand up for what they truly believe in or what they truly want to do. Because we’re so use to agreeing. But the things is, there’s always going to be someone who will disagree with you or not like something you do. So stop holding back, start expressing yourself the way you truly want to.

Overall people pleasing takes you away from you, I think we’ve established it. Who you are could be buried deep below a pile of other people’s crap and their expectations. I’m not trying to get you to stop and question your every decision since you exited the womb. I’m just trying to get you to have a bit of a think, and if anything, care a little less. Do things for yourself, figure out what that’s like.

You do not live to please others, your living YOUR life, please try your best to live to please yourself.

Disclaimer: I do understand in some situations what I’m saying here is not applicable. Sometimes people have no choice but to do what others tell them to do or think.

~ Jasmin

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Dear Everyday Driver,

This is probably just going to be another opinionated writer with another rant. And yes.. I do plan to be opinionated and have a good rant. Drink driving! A topic everyone hears of, every pubescent teenager has at least “wasted” a good 10 hours of their lives listening (or pretending to) to mandatory lectures on the subject. In all honesty I don’t think the reality  of this topic comes to light until you see it with your own eyes. But I’ve got a story I’d like to share with you:

I stopped at the lights on the way home from my brothers apartment, my heart started racing a million miles an hour when I see both doors on the car in front of me open abruptly.  I thought, “SHIT” as I remember subtly shouting at them to go the speed limit only moments before. (I’ll inform you though, my windows where up and I do not have physical capacity to be loud).  Many thoughts ticked through my mind..maybe this is how little Jasmin will go. I’m going to be beaten up by two dodgy looking bogans. They both stepped out of their car and to my relief were simply changing drivers. Yet my heart was still racing and I started to feel guilty for jumping to such a judgemental presumption that elicited thoughts of dismay. I continued on my drive, my thoughts moving to the annoying people on the radio talking about Adele. Thats when I saw the same car I’d been following begin to swerve all over the road. They’d move over the line on the far right, only to swerve on over to left with absence of any indication. Too much effort I suppose. My stomach filled with concern and angst as I continued to follow them. My mind started to conjecture as to why I was seeing what I was seeing. Where these people drunk? They were going to kill someone.

Next I see my turn off, slightly relieved slightly terrified to see the car in front without a turn off signal. Except, before my eyes they swerve over to the left then straight back over to the right lane. They’ve clearly forgotten their turn off so they dangerously slam into and over the island, right in front of me. Smoke starts to rush out of their car as they swerve over to the other side of the road, cutting it too close to the edge. This is all happening right in front of me and I am terrified. I slow right down sure that something else is going to happen. These people are idiots. Putting everyone else’s lives at risk. I slow right down and new cars coming up behind me are starting to get very confused as to what the hell I’m going so slow for. As suspected  the car does not stop like any sane person would to check to see if their car is about to blow up. With the state of their car and quality of their driving I was slightly expecting it. But I continued to watch their car with caution as they turn off, once again at the same place I will. I watched them for a few more moments before they are too far in front, so I drive home.

I felt shocked. I felt bemused by what I had just seen. Not only that but I wanted to burst into tears thinking about all the effects these people could have. I don’t know if anything has happened yet, but I’m keeping my eyes pealed on the news this evening. I didn’t call the police. I didn’t even think to get the number plate. I feel useless in a way, but what could I have done? I would have been of little use to the police, with no sufficient information and no evidence of actions.

But honestly..PEOPLE.. what the hell is wrong with you? I mean fine, if you want to put yourself in that situation go off into isolated bush somewhere and blatantly kill yourself. But DO NOT put other peoples lives at risk. Some people are just so damn selfish. They don’t think before they do. And yes sometimes none of us do, but situations involving driving under the influence or recklessly NEED to be thought through, if not by you by someone sensible. Obviously some people are too thick. But what is wrong with you? Open your eyes, grow up and start thinking about the repercussions that your actions could have on other peoples lives. That goes for reckless driving too. And yes in regards to that, I’m looking at you young guys with hot shot cars and the maturity  and driving skills of a 5 year old. I feel like everyone needs to be put into a real life situation like this in order for them to apprehend and embellish the seriousness of such blatant, ignorant acts. But think about it before it happens. My message is simple, don’t be stupid. My rant is over.

~ Jasmin

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